Saturday, January 9, 2010

An Open Letter

Dear Major Data Producing Centers,

You thought your machine were well protected, didn't you? Deep in your big fancy buildings with secured access for only a few trusted employees - a virtual fortress, only ever violated by the emails you decide to reply to. Otherwise unassailable, no?

Maybe you shouldn't have accepted samples from my lab. Do you think it's coincidence that machines in two MDPCs in two different countries have gone down while processing our samples in the last month? Do you? Maybe it's worth considering the possibility that what at first seemed like an innocent sample delivered to your door was actually anything but. Once you let it in the door, placed it on your machine and left it alone to run, it was all over. While your technicians slept soundly, our samples were working away. Be afraid, your machines are no longer safe.



PLS Lab samples come in innovative packaging.

6 comments:

  1. Bummer. We just got a pile of data back from an MDPC, and it looks like from a technical standpoint, the experiment worked beautifully. We still have a bunch of analysis to perform before we'll know if we've learned anything interesting, however.

    Experiments relying on MDPCs with long pipelines can be a motherfucking bear to troubleshoot, because the fucking turnaround is so fucking long.

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  2. Currently getting bent over the counter by MDPC w/o any foreplay. I feel your pain.

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  3. Oh shit, dude! Are these the samples you wanted for your grants? Are they ruined now? WTF!?

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  4. Yup. One of the two won't make it into the grants, but both can be salvaged so we're not back to square one.

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  5. Well at least that is the silver lining to a jailhouse rape.

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  6. If it makes you feel any better, the qPCR machine at the core facility sacrificed my samples to some unknown deity after the block somehow started smoking and almost caught fire. The bastards still had the nerve to charge me too.

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