Monday, May 4, 2009

Parents in the workplace

If you are new to a workplace and interested in the lives of the people you work with, here a few tips to figure out who has young kids at home.
- We're the ones who come to work with smushed food or snot on our clothes without realizing it. Kids have an amazing ability to transfer these items to the one place you can't see on yourself, but everyone else can.
- We're the ones who come in on Monday looking more disheveled than Friday. Some weekends are far more tiring than weekdays.
- We're the ones who look like we were at a late night party or concert on a weeknight by the way we look some mornings. We weren't. More likely we were up much of the night because our kid is sick or just decided they would rather scream than sleep.
- We're the ones who have a cold 5x more than everyone else. Daycare is ground zero for every outbreak of every virus.
- We're the ones that are nodding off at 8:30 during dinner parties or evening departmental functions. When you are up at 5:30 am every day....
- We're the ones who will trap you in monologue conversation for 30 minutes if you ask us how are kids are. Want to see the pixelated pictures of my kid on my phone?
- We're also the ones with a constant source of amazement and amusement at home, no batteries required.

11 comments:

  1. Word up PLS.

    I love the first. I just can't resist the "I wanna hug you" despite the Technicolor yogurt smeared all across the chin.

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  2. My wife once found dried "recycled" milk in the hood of her sweatshirt. Who knows how long it had been there, but she hadn't worn it in a couple of weeks.

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  3. I don't know about you, but since becoming a parent, I find there is nothing better in the world to make you forget about a crappy day of science at school than a small one, half running, half walking toward you with its arms in the air, asking you for a hug...

    Thanks for those insightful observations. I can now prove to my colleagues that I am not the only one with dirty ''brand new, straight from the drawer'' shirts...

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  4. I most definitely look forward to Mondays more than those with no kids. I go to work to get away from the screaming!

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  5. Apart from a couple of features you've just described undergrads. Except they will talk for 30mins about how wasted they were last night/weekend rather than their non-existant kids.

    antipodean

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  6. TRC - The smile when you go to pick them up at daycare certainly can change your day. It's nice to feel appreciated after hours of meetings, problem solving for other people and being burried in email.

    Caroline - Remember when weekends were relaxing :)

    Antipodean - I pretty sure I deal with more puke than even then undergrads, but the parallels are there.

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  7. Weekends were relaxing? After three years of getting up no later than 6 AM on the weekends, I deny the existence of relaxing weekends.

    Undergrads might be puking a lot, but hopefully they're not puking in your car, and then start bawling crying after doing so. Damn that puts a damper in any morning when it happens!

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  8. Word! Can't tell you how much better I feel after reading this, as I sit here in my snot-encrusted sweatshirt, more tired after last weekend than before. :) You rock.

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  9. PS: Perhaps I should clarify: the snot is my son's. As he battles the umpteenth cold this week, every hug he doles out comes with a nose bonus. Ewwww. But he's so cute that I barely even notice, honestly. Ah, the magic of parenting...

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  10. A day to sleep in is my current unicorn. I've heard of it and have been on a quest to find one, but I don't think I'll ever really see one.

    Today has been a day of firsts for us in the parenting department with our first ear infection diagnosed last night and our first seriously leaky diaper that was cause for a full on strip down of Wee One and Daddy both. That was nice ten minutes before leaving for work. The fact that I was still hugging her even knowing my pants might be destroyed by doing so is a testament that cuteness trumps disgustingness... unless you're a Hollywood starlet.

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  11. OMG I'm not the only one with the 6am bounching up and down wake up call?! I don't drink more than a couple glasses of wine, as I know I'll still have to wake up at 6am and deal with a happy, active boy. I barely manage that on a good day, I can't imagine trying to do that hungover.

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