As I have mentioned before, I've started doing a bit of exercise recently. I'm not exactly on pace to run a marathon, but I'm getting out and doing some cardio and weights so that I don't have to add hydraulic fluid to my desk chair. One of the nice features of our new building is a locker room downstairs where I can change before a run and shower when I get back. It's a small room through an unmarked door in the bathroom on the bottom floor, so not a lot of people know it's there.
This morning I was changing into my running clothes and just as I had reached a critical point in the transition from one pair of shorts to another, the door swings open. While this did not bother me much, the man who had opened the door did clearly not expect to find someone without pants on behind door number one. He apologized, but rather than going on his merry way he felt it necessary to explain that he was here with his son (standing behind him looking embarrassed) checking out the new building because his son was enrolled for the fall, etc.
This is where I have to admit that I have a problem. It's not a physical thing, but in fact my issue is I sometimes blurt things out before thinking it through. I grew up in a family where the speed at which you could verbally assault your relatives with sarcastic humor determined your spot in the hierarchy, and as the eldest grandchild, I learned without training wheels. In the right circumstances this has been a very good thing for me, but for the unsuspecting there have been occasions when I have come off a bit harsh.
Nevertheless, standing in a small room with no pants on and listening to a parent explain to me the rationale for barging through unmarked bathroom doors is apparently a situation where I talk faster than I think. Rather than saying "If you don't mind...", or something socially acceptable, out came "Well, are you finished checking out this facility or do you want me to take my shirt off too?" I believe the shade of red the man turned would be classified in catalogue-speak as "hot salmon".
And why haven't I been asked to be a faculty ambassador for recruitment yet?
1 day ago
Awesome. I wish my wit were that quick.
ReplyDeleteBut now I'm going to run into that student in the fall and he'll be thinking "You were the pantsless guy in the unmarked room who made my dad look like he choked on something". And eventually he'll be in one of my classes, etc. Of course, I have no idea what the kid looked like.
ReplyDeleteHa! Your family sounds just like mine. And I have similar problems now... although my blog readers are teaching me to accept and embrace it.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilariously awesome.
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh till I cried! Now my labmates think I'm a lunatic. Thanks. :-)
ReplyDeleteMad Hatter, surely that can't be their first indication...
ReplyDeleteThat's some fast-thinking funny! HILAROUS.
ReplyDeleteI bow to your gifts.
*hilarIous* (sigh but it had to be corrected because "hilarous" is just creepy...sounds like a scary combination of "hideous" and "halitosis"!)
ReplyDeleteI think the bigger problem is you leaving a comment that ends with "I bow to your gifts" on a post where I not only told you I tend to say things without thinking, but discussed being pantless several times. You're killing me. Luckily it takes longer to write things than it does to say them.
ReplyDeleteHA! thank gawd they didn't ask for an encore.
ReplyDeleteTouche. Let me rephrase--now my labmates are even more convinced than ever that I'm a lunatic.
ReplyDeleteOh, and those gifts must be impressive indeed. (I couldn't help myself. Feel free to delete if this is too risque.)
I really can't think of a more appropriate response to someone who chooses to hang around looking at some random pantsless dude. Decorum is already lost, go balls out *snark*
ReplyDeleteHaha - excellent! I probably would have blurted out something like "FUCK OFF!" and gotten myself fired.
ReplyDeleteSo that makes two of us who have made interesting first impressions on incoming students!
A true LOL (not the fake new generation kind), next time spank yourself loudly as the close the door.
ReplyDeleteClarification: you are gifted with quick wit.
ReplyDeleteBut you're right: it does sound like I was bowing to your gifts in the pantless sense. Thus, I am mortified.
(word verification = quing, aka the sound of humiliation's arrow)
This is why I change clothes in the lab proper: I can lock the doors. I really should do something about the windows, though.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious. Maybe a sign *should* be put on the door! At the very least, one that says "This is NOT a room of interest to helicopter parents of prospective students."
ReplyDelete