Thursday, March 19, 2009

More notes from the field.

>To the guy who helps us tremendously while we are here - Thanks for everything you do above and beyond what is in your job description. You could easily blow us off and not provide the tremendous help that you do, but instead you give us as much time as we need and facilitate all the work we do. Without your help we would get half the amount of stuff done that we do.

>To the customs officer you searched all my stuff - Based on the fact that I have been searched on 11 of my 13 trips to your country, we disagree on the definition of "random". I could work out the probability of me being the only person from my plane chosen for "random" screening on 84.6% of my visits, but I didn't think you were in the mood for that and I wasn't in the mood to end up in the "little room". Nevertheless, you handled the proceedings with the good nature and humor of the majority of the populace here, and I appreciate that.

>To my colleague who I make these trips with - We've been working together for a long time and we know each other very well. At the same time, certain barriers are not a bad thing. For instance, I don't know during which meeting the open door pooping got approved, but I do not support public or semi-public deification. Perhaps our wives are not here, but we don't need to completely turn the room into a high school locker room. I'm sure we can co-exist just fine with a closed-door bathroom policy.

>To my wife - I appreciate everything you've had to put up with this week so that I can be here to do this. As if the vomiting child weren't enough in the single-parenting week before you start your new job, the fish tank that decided to blow a hole this week was probably unnecessary. I know it's been a tough week and I will make it up to you when I get back.

>To the bee that stung me while I was riding my scooter (the PLS conveyance of choice for these trips) - I don't know where you came from or how you got on my leg, but was it necessary to sting me on my knee for no particular reason. It's not real easy to pull out a stinger from one's leg while driving a scooter and the swelling has kinda sucked, though I guess it was better than your fate.

>To the moth that lodged into my helmet 5 minutes after the bee sting - I thought the impact killed you. It didn't. Crawling on my ear was kinda creepy though, sorry I pulled of my helmet and crushed you.

>To the gale force wind and rain. You tried to blow my scooter over several times. You succeeded in moving me all over the road, but I stayed vertical. Barely. The driving rain stinging my face was a nice touch, but to no avail. The days are packed with trips and we don't have the time for your shit.

After all, we're here for samples. Pain is temporary, publication is forever.


  1. "I do not support public or semi-public deification"

    This is a really funny typo...I'm not feeling clever enough right now to make a convoluted joke about the change in meaning, but it still gave me a good chuckle...maybe something about sitting on a throne. Meh. Not at the top of game this morning.

    Sounds like you're having fun.

  2. I spotted that one too - hilarious, please leave it in!

  3. "Pain is temporary, publication is forever." Unless it is prior to electronic articles.

  4. I don't support public deification either, but fuck Microsoft and it's autocorrect.