Monday, March 9, 2009

grants.gov forms suck chapped baboon ass!

The grant I am in the process of applying for had a bit of an identity crisis about a month ago and some changes were made in how it is now being handled at the federal level. Instead of submitting through NSF, the program is under joint custody and therefore must be sent in via grants.gov. I never thought I would come across a system that would have me longing for NSF's Fastlane, but grants.gov, you make pine for Fastlane with a deep, unsatisfied yearning that I had previously never known for an online submission tool. I can't believe that this Adobe form is the solution our government has come up with for the problem of receiving grants from labs across the country. This is how all you NIHers have to submit things? I realize that many of you have "peeps" to fill this crap out for you, but this form is still ridiculous.

I spent the weekend trying to figure out how everything fits in and the modifications in content we will have to make in order for everything to translate from the previous format to the new one. I also contacted both my grants office here and my collaborator on Sunday morning to make sure that everyone is on the same page since the budgeting is a bit of a nightmare. It's now 11:00, just as I am about to be consumed in meetings for the rest of the day, and I haven't heard back from either one. Apparently I am the only one who wants to get this sorted out before the last minute.

5 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

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  2. You can't even print the whole thing! It has to be done one fucking section at a time! What sadistic asshole put this form togther?

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  3. In january I was told the day before my R01 was due that I needed to re-do the entire fucking thing...estimated burden, 40hrs.... Fucking whore.

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  4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. I'm starting to wonder if CPP's secret life isn't putting gratuitously complicated and poorly functioning forms together for the government, like some reverse super hero. "What if I have the fields on page 6 self-populate from the top of the form, but have the wrong information transfer and make it impossible to correct without fucking the whole thing up? Bwahaahaha!"

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