Thursday, July 29, 2010

My application to Nature Network... or blogs?

As has been covered ad nauseam, with all the flux at ScienceBlogs recently there has been a lot of movement of voices to new places. One of the consequences of that is a number of open blog spots at ScienceBlogs, and some people see this as a great time to try and join the SB collective. I guess one has to pick a good time to move up in the world.

In other news, it would appear that things are not so happy inside the garden walls of Nature Blogs, either. Perhaps this is the perfect time for me to apply there?

In that spirit, I would like to use this as my application to Nature Network... er, Nature Blogs (it seems unclear even to their bloggers). I even already made the banner!

I would make a good NN blogger for a number of reasons.

First, I don't care about knowing information like how many hits I get for which posts or who my audience is. I mean, why would that be helpful? And who needs a blogroll?

Second, I like talking to only a select group of other bloggers and to avoid engaging anyone else at any time, using barriers to said engagement when possible. It keeps the riff raff out, ya know, like we've been doing for centuries.

Third, I have an iphone. `Nuff said, amiright?

Fourth, I am totally cool with a non-functional front page that does nothing to promote my blog in any way and is completely impossible to navigate.

Finally, I am totes in love with LOL cats and like to fill entire comment threads with their hilariosity.

If that isn't enough to make my application get rubber stamped, there's a case of watercress on it's way to London as we speak.


  1. Great contribution PLS. ;)


  3. OMG why haven't you entered my banner contest yet?? Yours is genius!

  4. Your misuse of apostrophes scuppers your chances, I'm afraid.

  5. Do you fancy me or something?

    ~Ian Brooks

  6. "Anonymous said...
    Do you fancy me or something?
    ~Ian Brooks"

    I think I've cracked your secret identity...

  7. I'm afraid you're going to have to explain the watercress...

  8. LMFAO. I'm feeling fucking bipolar right now.

    And in the voice of Poor Dead Gary Coleman, "What you talking about Yong"

    Oh, maybe Proflike *is* Ian Brooks! You sneaky bastard highlighting your own NN blog!

  9. Har, har! Touché! (as we say in the UK).

    Maybe you'd like to sign up for one of the focus groups...? ;-)

  10. Oooo, I love focus groups and the smell of wasted time in the morning. I have a lot to add to the team.

  11. LOLcats? Pah! We do LOLcats without the LOL.

  12. How great. Especially the potentiation of the original post by the comments. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA

  13. Hahaha, hilarious post. You'd think these places would hire a dedicated coder who knew how to fix their issues immediately. Running a blog network on someone else's tech is just asking for trouble

  14. dear me. :)

    it's a bit of commotion... to say the least. will be interesting to see where it all ends up.

  15. I love the people at NN. But I just cannot use the platform. It's completely fucked.


  16. Dear PLS,

    Thank you for your application. As you are aware, we at Nature Network are committed to ensuring the highest level of functionality for our bloggers, commenters and faithful readers. We will work carefully with you to ensure that your blog header complies with our Style Guide, for example.

    With this in mind, we are pleased to offer you a Nature Network blog. Please provide your email address, Social Security number (or equivalent), and a 31-character alphanumeric password containing at least three uppercase letters, one special character found above a numeral on the top row of a standard keyboard, and a thirteen-digit number in which no numeral is repeated more than twice. Once approved, we will contact you to arrange for a blood test, DNA cheek swab and retina scan. Be assured that after this initial sign-up, only the retina scan and password will be required in order to sign in, provided that you remember your email address.

    Best regards, o/b/o Nature Network, Interchoob Securicon LLC.

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