What do you do when you find out that someone whom you have known and trusted for a long time is blatantly lying to you?
What do you do when it's unclear whether they are doing it maliciously or are completely out of touch with the reality around them?
What do you do when the person's inability to accept responsibility for their actions threatens to destroy your relationship with them, which to this point has been quite good?
What do you do when the situation is affecting your ability to meet deadlines and perform the way that you need to in order to accomplish your job?
What do you do when the person is your Dad?
I realize that this post is a bit off-topic and borders on too much information. However, what I have been painfully learning the past few weeks is something that should be obvious, but that which I had previously ignored. This job does not happen in a vacuum. There are always personal factors that can crop up at any point and without warning. Two weeks ago I had no idea that there are significant problems at the heart of my parents' relationship and now I can barely recognize the charred remains of that perception. The significance of this to me is obvious, but what you should take away from it is the second-to-last point above. Like most new faculty, I have been operating with zero "head-space", meaning that with all of my responsibilities both at work and at home I have effectively stretched myself to the max in order to move everything along at a pace that I am happy with while ensuring that the Wee One still knows what I look like in real life and not just pictures. We can argue the merits of this approach or whether there is another way for junior faculty to live, but the unfortunately reality is that when you are spread so thin it doesn't take much to blow everything up. Once the current situation stabilizes a bit, I plan to be a bit more selfish with my time at work and say "no" to a few things in order to create a little space to mitigate the damage the next time Godzilla strikes. If you can avoid learning this lesson the hard way, then maybe you won't have to pop Tums like a pregnant lady.
9 hours ago