Dirty Oil Man

Dear Oil company Sales Rep,

I don't blame you for being a little curt on the phone when I called to cancel our contract because we bought a new natural gas furnace. I'm sure losing an account in this economy and when you are hawking oil kinda sucks. The fact that you tried to rush us another delivery even though our oil tank was scheduled for removal was kinda a dick move, but whatever. It's nothing personal, we just want something more efficient and you couldn't offer it. There's also the issue of the tax rebates, but I digress.

While I can forgive you for being grumpy, I can also ask you to please go fuck a light socket for sending my family an envelope full of random pamphlets, all strongly suggesting that the switch to natural gas will soon lead to our deaths from either carbon monoxide or from our house blowing up. Your dirty scare mongering of the worst degree only further sold me on our switch and convinced me that your company sucks ass. I hope you have to sleep at night smelling those shitty fumes that we had in our house before we upgraded.

Sincerely,
PLS

p.s. The new furnace is awesome.