After weeks of writing and re-writing what seem like the same pages, days of harassing colleagues for letters of support or other documents and what seems like forever digging through papers and data looking for that one last piece of the grant puzzle, anyone can start to take on some funk. It's the sour stink of ideas made stale by the number of times they were rolled over and over. The unmistakeable odor that a massive deadline leaves in it's wake. Well, now there's a way to rid yourself and your office of grant-stench.
New Grant-Be-Gone can be ordered by phone, just have your credit card ready
For just 12.3 easy payments of only $9.99 (plus S+H*), we'll ship a bottle of Grant-Be-Gone right to your home, office or colleague's office. No longer will your students scatter when you leave your office. After one application of Grant-Be-Gone, you might even answer your phone with more than a grunt**.
"Grant-Be-Gone even got those burrito stains out of my shirt!" - Andrea Blain, Beleaguered Assistant Prof, MRU
That's right folks, Grant-Be-Gone*** will wash that recently-submitted grant away so that you can get back to working on that manuscript / review / class / book / other grant that you have been neglecting for the past month.
* $29.99 for Shipping & Handling. Product comes on Dry Ice, MSDS available.
**Individual results may vary.
*** May not be legal in all states, check you local regulations on reactive phenolic compounds.
2 hours ago