Monday, June 29, 2009

Actual Conversation: Real Estate

The family and I are in the process of looking at houses and have come across some really interesting possibilities, but in our price range there always seems to be a catch. When it looks too good to be true... We found a house online that blew our minds. The outside was exactly what we were looking for and the inside was decorated like someone made the place for us. How the fuck is this in our price range? Let's go check it out.

Well, we found out. Across the street and barely a stone's throw away are train tracks. Not just any train tracks, but the high-speed commuter rail tracks. When we arrived the selling agent informed us that the train could only be heard for one minute and 37 seconds every day and as if on cue, the train blasted by. Yes, you could only hear it for about 4 seconds, but it shook the damn house! As we walked through the house dumbfounded by how incredible the place was, I kept picturing myself red-eyed at the breakfast table going to sip my coffee as the train whips by spilling it all over myself. No matter how serene the house, if it shakes twice an hour that might be a problem.

In any case, that led to the following discussion where I almost revealed that I'm really a 15 year-old boy trapped in a body twice that age.

Our Agent: "That was such a beautiful place, too bad about the train."

PLS: "Yeah, I'm a light sleeper so I think that would make it tough for me at night."

OA: "Hmmmm, do you guys really like mission style?"

PLS: "Uh, um...." (Wow, this is odd that our real estate agent is asking about our sex life. I mean, we barely know her. I hope there's a joke about shaking and sex positions coming up here because otherwise I may just keep stammering for the rest of the ride to the next house. Shit, say something!). "Ah, yeah, I guess."

OA: "Hmmmmm, okay."

PLS: (What the fuck? What does this have to do with houses or anything? Is she judging us now? What kind of answer was she looking for? What can I think about to keep from laughing?)

OA: "That's a very distinctive style."

PLS: "Um....." (Not sure I would go with "distinctive" here, but whatever. Why is she so serious and I feel like my head is going to explode if I don't start cracking up?")

OA: "Because that house was all done in that style and not everyone goes for that."

PLS: (Finally realizing that she's talking about a style of furniture and not reproduction) "OH! Yeah, we like that style. Sure, Mission. They had great tables." (Phew!)

7 comments:

  1. Hmm...I always thought it was "missionary style". But more to the point, I can't believe you actually answered the questions given what you thought she meant!

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  2. Well, didn't exactly have the time to think through the missing "ary" and I was a bit flustered, given the question. It was either stammer out some answer, start laughing or stare at her wide-eyed.

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  3. hahah, haha!!!!! You are such a boy!

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  4. For what it's worth, I probably would've gone on a rant about invasion of privacy, inappropriate questions, lack of professionalism, etc. and made a complete ass of myself. :-)

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  5. LOL! I would have assumed the same thing, not having heard of mission style furniture before!

    It is totally impossible for me to hear the word "missionary" without smirking. Even the time that my Dad's colleague started telling me that her long term plan was to be a missionary. My Dad picked up on why I was smirking, and started to laugh, which made me laugh... the poor woman had no idea why!

    p.s. I was 26.

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  6. So, finally you was the nasty one having in mind something completely else than the poor realtor :) Especially when you know we realtors are usually quite conservative people (from the outside at least!).

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  7. It wasn't the realtor's fault at all. I am just not very familiar with design styles, but perhaps I should start looking in case I get confused by a conversation on hardwoods.

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